Chapter 9: Recovering a Sense of Compassion
The Artist's Way Journey
Welcome to the ninth post in a 12-week series dedicated to exploring creativity and artistic identity through Julia Cameron’s 1994 course The Artist’s Way! Whether you are completing the course alongside me, joining us in the future, or here to learn from my insights and reflections, the following series of posts will remain a safe space for discussion and reflection wherever you are in your artistic journey.
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In Chapter 9, we identify the things that make us afraid.
This week finds us facing the internal blocks to creativity. It may be tempting to abandon ship at this point. Don’t! We will explore and acknowledge the emotional difficulties that beset us in the past as we made creative efforts. We will undertake healing the shame of past failures. We will gain in compassion as we reparet the frightened artists child who years for creative accomplishment. We will learn tools to dismantle emotional blocks and support renewed risks.
Reflecting on Chapter 9
I often accuse myself of laziness in the face of unmet expectations. When the books go unread, the words unwritten, the ideas unpolished, my first instinct is self-flagellation instead of self-compassion. It’s a habit cultivated over time (and I believe by an academic system more focused on outcomes than processes), and it’s one I’ve found most difficult to kick.
This week’s focus on compassion felt particularly personal and much of the chapter ended up underlined and asterisked. Where I usually feel I have a few key points to reflect on and share with you all, this week left me feeling more contemplative. So, before reading on, I ask you this:
In what moments are you cruel to your inner artist instead of kind?
“The blocked artist spends energy on self-hatred, on regret, on grief, and on jealousy. The blocked artist spends energy on self-doubt.”
— Julia Cameron, The Artist’s Way, p.151
There comes a point where one must acknowledge their creative blocks as fear. Recognising our fears doesn’t make us a failure — it makes us more compassionate. For me, fear manifests as the inability to start. I typically mislabel it as laziness. The reality is a fear of the vulnerability associated with a new artistic avenue. Fear of failing. Fear of discovering I’m no good at whatever I’ve put my mind to. Fear of disappointing myself and others who expect quality work from me. Fear my self-doubt isn’t misplaced — maybe I’m not cut out to create things after all.
All this fear and pressure before we’ve even begun is debilitating; as Cameron says, “The need to be a great artist makes it hard to be an artist. The need to produce a great work of art makes it hard to produce any art at all” (p.152). At some point, we need to take a step back, acknowledge how afraid we are, and just. begin. Beginning becomes our artistic rebellion. It also becomes one of our greatest acts of self-love.
“We’re more comfortable being a victim of Artist’s Block than risking having to consistently be productive and healthy.”
— Julia Cameron, The Artist’s Way, p.155
There’s comfort in the block because it demands nothing of us; committing to our crafts, to the undulating process of creative progression and regression, is much more difficult. But there is no joy in remaining blocked — and there is so much joy in creating the things we love, no matter the end products.
Writing for Ruminations has been the biggest creative challenge I’ve undertaken this year. Writing is something I’ve always done sporadically in moments of inspiration, pen scrawling across the page or fingertips flying across the keyboard. Writing thoughtfully, creatively, consistently, is a skill I didn’t think I possessed — and yet, almost 8 months after its inception, Ruminations is going strong and writing for you all has brought me immeasurable joy.
A final reminder:
“Art evokes the mystery without which the world would not exist.”
— René Magritte
Chapter 9 Check-In:
How are your morning pages going?
Did you have an artist date?
Where is fear getting in the way of your artistic pursuits?
Yours in compassion,
Caitlin ❧