Chapter 1: Recovering a Sense of Safety
The Artist's Way Journey
Welcome to the first post in a 12-week series dedicated to exploring creativity and artistic identity through Julia Cameron’s 1994 course The Artist’s Way! Whether you are completing the course alongside me, joining us in the future, or here to learn from my insights and reflections, the following series of posts will remain a safe space for discussion and reflection wherever you are in your artistic journey.
Subscribing supports my writing & ensures you don’t miss the next post in this exciting series ❧
Welcome to Week One!
If this is our first time meeting — hello, welcome, lovely to meet you. My name is Caitlin Ellis and I’m a writer and poet from Perth, Western Australia. Last year, I published my debut book, a gothic coming-of-age poetry collection titled Worm Food and Bone Sand, and in May I began this newsletter, Ruminations.
Post the thrilling chaos that is self-publishing a book, I’ve found my connection to my inner artist s t r e t c h e d. Like a tendon pulled taught and threatening to snap, the pain of this realisation has jolted me out of a lulled state of burnout. Burying the remnants of my creativity simply isn’t an option, so I decided to begin a journey of healing through The Artist’s Way and invited you to join me.
The book takes the form of a 12-week course designed to help us discover and recover our creative selves. It is designed for “anyone interested in practicing the art of creative living” and involves a commitment to three things:
Morning Pages — three pages of longhand writing, strictly stream-of-consciousness and completed daily
The Artist Date — dedicated, independent quality time set aside to nurture your inner artist and which you defend against at all costs (!!)
Reading the chapter for the week and completing at least half of the assigned exercises
Although it seems like a daunting commitment, your inner artist deserves the time and effort. If you are also feeling creatively stretched, blocked, or burnt out, I encourage you to address that.
“Learning to let yourself create is like learning to walk. The artist child must begin by crawling.”
- Julia Cameron, The Artist’s Way, p. 29
Reflecting on Week One
Beyond a sensible amount of spiritual woo-woo, the first chapter felt like the laying down of solid ground to leap from. Cameron emphasises the importance of kindness and managing your expectations. The process will be imperfect, choppy, uncomfortable. It will come with its highs and lows. The purpose of the journey is to cultivate a consistent practice and sense of creative self-worth; progress is far more important than perfection. This is a message I sorely need to internalise. The fear of creating art that won’t be “good enough”, “smart enough”, or “worth sharing” often stops me dead in my tracks, preventing me from writing at all. Truth be told, I’ve been experiencing a months-long writing slump that’s knocked my confidence. Showing up to the page feels so full of expectation and pressure that it’s often far easier to turn away from it.
The emphasis on returning to play is what’s really caught my eye. Somewhere along the way, creation, an act that holds so much magic and pleasure, has transformed into a task for completion. When I played as a child, there was no “deadline” looming over my head, no expectation that I play “correctly”. I drew how I wanted, pottered around the garden making mud cakes for as long as I pleased, and wrote five-page-long books on my family computer and called it a day. I stopped when I felt I was ready to. I began when inspiration struck. My disconnect from this natural instinct for exploration and experimentation has become glaringly obvious to me and honestly makes me a little sad. Healing this connection is now my highest priority.
“Remember that in order to recover as an artist, you must be willing to be a bad artist. Give yourself permission to be a beginner.”
— Julia Cameron, The Artist’s Way, p. 30
A way Cameron proposes overcoming negative internal dialogue and limiting beliefs is by challenging them with an affirmation. She argues that affirmations are a quick, accessible and transformative tool to help you achieve a sense of safety and hope. For example, when the negative belief “writing is just a waste of my time”, rears its ugly little head, it could be countered with “I am allowed to nurture my inner artist.”
Affirmations are uncomfortable and I have always struggled with them. I’m making a real effort to put my pride aside and accept the strange second-hand embarrassment that arises from watching me argue with myself. I’ve found practicing them through my morning pages easiest; it feels more intuitive and less abrasive. This week we are recovering a sense of safety and this feels safest for me at this stage. After all, we have 12 weeks to work on it.
At the end of each chapter, there is a check-in and I’d love to bring that to this space! Let’s connect with each other in the comments to create a growing vault of dialogue, motivation, and creativity for future readers to stumble upon and join. You don’t require a substack account to comment and you can remain anonymous if you prefer. If you are reading this in the future - please join in!! This will be an evergreen thread.
Week 1 Check-In:
How did you go with your morning pages (or, do you have your own writing practice you stick to)?
Did you have an artist date this week? What did you do? How did it feel?
Did you discover any other issues this week that you consider significant for your artistic recovery?
I was far from perfect in my first week - I missed a few days of morning pages, ran out of paper in my notebook and had to get a new one, and forgot to plan an artist date until it was literally Sunday evening. That being said, I’ve enjoyed the readings and exercises so far. I’m excited to see how next week unfolds with a little more planning.
Lastly, I’ll leave you with some inspiration <3
My favourite movie of all time is Dead Poet Society (I hope that comes as no surprise to you). I’ve been feeling the pull to re-watch it for the last few months and I think I will include it as one of my Artist Date activities next week. One particular line has been so stuck in my brain this past week that it’s become an affirmation in its own right. It comes from the poem ‘O Me! O Life!’ by Walt Whitman and is a lifelong favourite. I’m going to treat it as the affirmation that guides me through the next twelve weeks and will maybe guide you too:
O Me! O Life!
By Walt Whitman
Oh me! Oh life! of the questions of these recurring,
Of the endless trains of the faithless, of cities fill’d with the foolish,
Of myself forever reproaching myself, (for who more foolish than I, and who more faithless?)
Of eyes that vainly crave the light, of the objects mean, of the struggle ever renew’d,
Of the poor results of all, of the plodding and sordid crowds I see around me,
Of the empty and useless years of the rest, with the rest me intertwined,
The question, O me! so sad, recurring—What good amid these, O me, O life?
Answer.
That you are here—that life exists and identity,
That the powerful play goes on, and you may contribute a verse.
What will your verse be?
…
Next week we will cut straight to the meaty parts of the process ~ thank you for reading, I’m looking forward to connecting with you!
Til next week,
Caitlin ❧